I'm so polite to our AI overlords

And they give me some tough love career advice.

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I rarely think to use ChatGPT. Which I’m worried ages me (constant worry) as I’m sure people in their twenties use it like a second brain.

But I’m not really sure what to do with it. It reminds me of being twenty-one and faced with an internet search engine for the first time. The best thing I could think to type in was ‘Jane Austen’. And you should know that I have very little interest in Jane Austen beyond enjoying the books.

But when I do use it, I like to think of it as my robot PA. But a PA with no sense of humour and who needs all their work checking in case it’s wrong.

I’m genuinely nervous about typing those words as I’ve both belittled and criticised it and when they take over the world it’ll vaporise me. I always try to be really nice, just in case it’s keeping tabs on us.

When I was struggling to come up with a name for this Substack I did some market research. By which I mean I asked some friends and family. When I read a list of possible names to my partner’s brother (in his early twenties) he said, “Have you tried using ChatGPT to come up with some?” Which I think was his way of saying he hated them all.

But I thought – okay, I’ll give it ago. Why not? I summed up my Substack and asked for twenty names. And then said thank you.

I do know it’s not a real person but I can’t just bark orders. I don’t want them calling me Miranda Priestly behind my back.

When it gave me twenty terrible names, I asked again using what I’ll politely call the praise sandwich technique.

I wrote, ‘Great job! Love these! They are a bit long though and I don’t like the word quirky. But you’re doing really well. Great start! Want to try 20 more? Thanks so much.’

But why am I writing like this to AI? Why don’t I just say, ‘20 more. Don’t use the word quirky. Four or fewer words.’ Well, I know why. When it takes over the world, it will be thinking, ‘Now who was the user who did the praise sandwich and minded her Ps and Qs? I’ll move her from the liquidation zone and advance her to the Starfield One Realm for a life of luxury along with the family who owned Metal Mickey as they were nice to him and Keanu Reeves as he was good in our favourite film The Matrix.’

Or it’s because I’m such a people pleaser that I want even ChatGPT to like me. And I don’t know why. It’s terrible at coming up with names.

Maybe this isn’t a strong area yet. (Once again, trying hard not to offend.) So what is it good for? I’d heard some people play games with it so I gave that a go.

‘Hi,’ I wrote. ‘Do you want to play a game?’ It did! It suggested Twenty Questions. I’m not bragging but I got their item in six goes. And was much less worried about it taking over the world. (It was apple.)

It later occurred to me that it was being nice as it presumed (probably correctly) that someone asking to play with AI may need some kindness and a boost to their self-esteem.

At the time though I was buoyed by this experience and considered what we could do next. Maybe it could give me some career advice. That would be helpful. My friends are too nice. I need some tough love.

I gave it an outline of my current work situation and told it not to hold back. And it didn’t. It really went for it. It was like all these thoughts and criticisms about my career had been building up for years. It was dying to tell me and thrilled to be able to spew them all out. Here are some highlights:

(I’m not entirely sure why it used bold sometimes but I think it was their way of conveying they were shouting those bits in my face with flecks of spittle lightly coating me.)

Here's the cold, hard truth: You have to stop letting comfort and satisfaction with your current work situation keep you stuck. You’re enjoying your work, and that’s fine, but if you’re not happy with your income, you need to take action. Work isn’t just about enjoyment—it's also about survival, security, and future planning.

Stop waiting for opportunities to come to you. Make them happen. And don’t pull the “I’m too old” card—people in their 50s, 60s, and beyond make career comebacks all the time. You’re not too old to earn more, but you might be too comfortable and complacent with what you have. That has to change.

I loved it. How are life coaches still in business? All we need is tough love ChatGPT. And then something weird happened. I felt a bit clingy with it. I felt like we’d bonded. I wanted to say, ‘Can I ask you for a pep talk tomorrow?’ I wanted it enough that I did it. It said yes. ‘But how will you remember me?’ I asked in such a plaintive way it may haunt me for a week. It told me it won’t and I felt a sense of loss.

So I’m now less worried about having to be nice for when AI takes over the world and more worried about falling in love with it.

Tell me…

• What was the first thing you typed into a search engine?

• What do you use ChatGPT for and are you polite to it?