Incredible experiences I've declined

Sometimes you just can't be bothered.

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None of what follows is going to reflect well on me, but that’s nothing new here and there are just times when you’d rather watch The Traitors than visit the Taj Mahal. Here are three of mine.

Night swimming in a bioluminescent bay in Puerto Rico

Swimming in bioluminescent sea has been described as like swimming in stars or fireworks. The water is filled with millions of microorganisms, which glow in the dark when disturbed. It’s a magical, unique experience that cannot be appreciated from a boat. I know this because I went on a trip to go night swimming in a bioluminescent bay, and I didn’t get out of the boat.

I was on holiday in Puerto Rico and took a trip to a bay which is officially, according to the Guinness Book of Records, the brightest bioluminescent bay IN THE WORLD. It’s the number one best place to go for this kind of stuff.

I’m still not entirely sure why I didn’t leave the boat. Maybe I didn’t want to get wet and then dry again at nighttime. I’m also a bit afraid of seawater unless it’s totally clear and I can stand up. But really I just couldn’t be bothered.

And this is not something you can appreciate just as well from a photo. And I think a photo is just as good for many things. The moon, for example. And space. But swimming in these glow-in-the-dark waters can’t be captured by camera as it’s so fleeting. There is no comparison to experiencing it in the water, with every movement triggering a momentary cascade of sparkling neon.

And it wasn’t that I didn’t realise this. I was on a tour with about ten people and the only one that didn’t get in. So I witnessed how incredible they were all finding it and I still wasn’t tempted.

A sunrise hot air balloon ride over Melbourne, Australia

A ride in a hot air balloon regularly features in top tens of bucket lists. It’s described as a breathtaking and unforgettable experience. And I once refused to go up in one.

I’ll go straight to my defence. Which is that this was not going to be my first propane-propelled basket ride. I once took a hot air balloon ride over Stockholm and nearly died (kind of) but that’s a story for another day. I also went in one over Brisbane and my sole memory was feeling disappointed that I could just see dryish shrubbery and not all that red stuff that I imagined Australia to be entirely composed of.

I’ve got some more defence now. It was a very busy work trip and a sunrise balloon ride would’ve eaten heavily into the few hours of sleep I was getting. I don’t want to sleep when I’m dead, I want to sleep now and for eight hours every night.

One last defence. I’ve left the weakest for last. And it’s that I’m just not crazy about hot air balloon rides. I worry that I’ll get in a real-life scenario of that moral dilemma, where one person needs to be thrown off or you’ll crash and all die. So everyone has to decide whose life is worth less than the others. And I can’t help imagining all eyes immediately turning to me with thoughts of, ‘Well I mean she just does a podcast and a Substack and doesn’t leave the house much, what’s the point of her?’ And I’ll be tossed over, even though there was also a 96-year-old holocaust denier on board.

That’s the end of my defence and there is no prosecution evidence other than that I’m lazy and spoilt.

Starling murmurations in Somerset

The starling murmurations of Somerset are in a list of the top ten natural phenomena that travellers long to see in 2025. It sits alongside the Northern Lights, sea turtle hatching and the penguin parade on Phillip Island near Melbourne. (Which I have seen! But the spectacle was entirely eclipsed by the greater spectacle of Meatloaf being there in an anorak.)

Huge flocks of starlings come together in a swirling, turning, dancing cloud. Here’s the most common word used to describe them - breathtaking. Positive me thinks that sounds nice. Negative me thinks, ‘Would this be like birds gathering to watch the crowds doing last-minute shopping at Lakeside on Christmas Eve?’

But one year I had the chance to find out. To see if my breath could be taken. A trip to my partner’s mum’s coincided with a time when the starlings were going to be murmuring (pretty sure that’s not the right verb.)

When we arrived at the closest parking space we could get, my son, who was a baby at the time, was napping in his car seat. I didn’t want to wake him, so I thought, ‘It’s just birds in the sky. I’ll miss it. There will be another time.’ This was seven years ago. I’m thinking there won’t be another time and to be honest, I’m fine with it.

Tell me….

What incredible, magical experience have you declined?

And what celebrity have you seen at a tourist hotspot?