My hideously unsuitable response to a marriage proposal

And why we really need to rethink this particular tradition.

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There was a video doing the rounds on Twitter last week where a guy hijacks his girlfriend’s graduation ceremony to propose. It was presented as a heartwarming moment. The audience gives a standing ovation. And it’s since been deleted because of the terrible pile-on.

The proposer was called a controlling narcissist. He was criticised for detracting from all her hard work and making it about him and their relationship. He was condemned for waving to the onlookers. I honestly think there are plane hijackers who have had less bile directed at them. (I’m thinking mainly of this one.)

But if his critics thought her graduation was ruined by a proposal, think about how much it’s been ruined now by going viral for all the wrong reasons on social media. That’s two of her potentially lovely life events spoiled now.

While I hate a Twitter ambush, I do think this man needs to spread the good stuff about a bit. Let her have a great graduation. And then maybe next week try out a proposal. Don’t cram all the major life events into the same day. I remember being mocked by a friend for not finding out the gender of my baby at a scan as I wanted it to be a surprise. And him saying, “Yeah, the day of the birth is going to be a bit dull. You’re going to need a surprise to liven things up a bit.” He makes a good point.

I’m assuming also that this graduate actually wants to get married. A public proposal does kind of force you to say yes. I would rather commit myself to a life of misery with the wrong person or a protracted divorce than decline a marriage proposal in front of a large number of people. It would take nerves of steel when everyone is on their feet and cheering. I think even Putin would go along with it. For the time being at least. (A heads up there if anybody was considering it.)

All this has made me think of the one time I was proposed to. And how I majorly blew what I’m pretty sure will remain the only time anyone will do this. Not because my proposer and I are so happy together. We’ve been divorced for a decade. But a proposal feels like something that only belongs in an earlier time of my life.

Or perhaps something that belongs in just my early and much later life. Like having a landline and doing a paper round. Perhaps my partner will propose in old age to make the will and tax situation easier or it will come from the sprightly man next door in the care home.