14 Comments
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Kirsty's avatar

My dad once introduced my step mum as his partner at a dinner party they were hosting and one of the guys asked what business they were in. V embarrassing. In fairness, my step mum was late 20s and my dad early 40s. I was about 10 at the time and still remember now (knocking 40) how awkward it made the evening. They got married, maybe just to avoid this again 🤔

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Annabel Port's avatar

If we came up with a better word than partner, I wonder if marriage rates would plummet!

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Mark MacLean's avatar

I had a recent situation where a client referred to his ‘wife’ even though as it turned out they wasn’t married. Then they decided to get married and just dropped that news into the conversation. I uttered the right word of Congratulations, but it felt very odd.

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Annabel Port's avatar

It’s all too confusing!

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Bonnie H Morrison's avatar

How about “novio/novia”? In NYC, we use many words from our melting pot.

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Annabel Port's avatar

This is Spanish, right? I like the sound of it.

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Lauréline van Kapel's avatar

I think one of the biggest reasons for marrying my wife was it was easier to refer to her as "my wife" than girlfriend, partner ...etc

She's US born and loathes the word "partner", on the ground it's not an American thing and she says makes us sound as a business. My lovely extended, British family would show their support of our same-sex relationship by sending Xmas cards saying "To you and your partner"

I started to dread Xmas coming around because I knew it would only lead to arguments. In the end I proposed because at least the cards would then be an acceptable "to you and your wife"

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Annabel Port's avatar

Well this is the best reason for getting married that I’ve ever heard!

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Jay Sally's avatar

I think you may have answered your own question in the end … 😂

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Annabel Port's avatar

Haha! You’re probably right.

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Janina's avatar

To come back to the German word "Lebensgefährte/Lebensgefährtin" - it's a mouthful and I would not really use it (to me it sounds more of the slightly-younger-than-my-parents generation). BUT - it is not really adequately translated with 'partner'. "Gefährte' is a somewhat old-fashioned word, and while used for friend/buddy/partner really means 'travel companion' - which makes 'Lebensgefährte' a travel companion for your life (either part of the way or all the way). Which I kind of like as a meaning. There, could not leave it at that, as a German...

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Annabel Port's avatar

Haha! Thank you. I’m much happier with the meaning now. It sounds so much nicer.

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Izzy M's avatar

Such a great point, it’s so tricky now that marriage is no longer essentially compulsory. I agree regarding “partner”, it can definitely have business connotations, but I do think it’s the best option we currently have. You are right that the issue with “boy/girl friend” is absolutely that they sound very juvenile. I wondered if we could just make that sound older? eg manfriend/

Womanfriend? But then is seems like the “friend” part is wrong, and then that made me think of “special friend” which is clearly very wrong on every level! So I think that you’re right, there are just no acceptable phrases for this!!

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Annabel Port's avatar

Yes, when I deconstructed boyfriend/girlfriend, I found I had more of a problem with the friend bit! I agree that partner is the best of the bad bunch. I wish the government would mandate a new word though. Even though I'm pretty sure this is not their job.

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