I'm an audiologist, so this is as close as real life comes to my specialist subject! Really, the rule should be that the person repeating should rephrase the sentence, rather than saying exactly the same thing again. There's probably one word in the sentence you miss because it has soft consonants or something, so changing the words used gives the listener a better chance. I'd also recommend musicians earplugs in really noisy places. Save your hearing and make hearing other people talking easier to distinguish in my experience. Sorry that's not a funny comment!
I've heard some pretty terrible stories of people smiling and nodding at inappropriate things. One person was smiling while someone was talking about their husband dying. People agreeing to things in medical appointments when they haven't heard the question is common too.
Try being a non-native speaker; people automatically assume you’re either deaf or, more likely, stupid. They go on to repeat in exactly the same muttered way(sometimes louder), and naturally you still can’t hear the beginning of the sentence, so the third time they just repeat the last few words (yes, the ones you did manage to catch first time) ve-ry slow-ly and LOUD-LY; it will never occur to them that it takes two to communicate
Owning a retail shop, I have to admit my anxiety about this has been blunted somewhat since it does happen with some degree of regularity. After the second attempt, I usually say, I’m so sorry and I know you’re going to hate me, but I really do want to understand what you’re saying.” This works more times than not as they then try something new haha.
I definitely stop asking after the second time, and generally guess the appropriate non-verbal response and try and move the conversation on, this seems to mostly work for me. When I’m the person who can’t be heard I generally shout when I repeat myself which my partner says is rude, but it’s because I’m genuinely trying to help because they obviously can’t hear my normal (admittedly quite quiet) voice!
Oh my god, I LOVE this (and all your writing actually). I HAD to comment on this one... it drives me NUTS when people mumble and/or speak so softly only their hair can hear what they've said.. why?! 😄 I do all the stuff that the etiquette lady says to do - who knew I was an etiquette expert.. not sure how that happened! 😄 BUT, why should I apologise when in fact they are the ones who are being inaudible... AND when you say "Sorry" "Pardon" etc.. for the second and sometimes third time (eeeek!).. they make absolutely no effort to change their tone, volume or bother to annunciate properly.. it's quite frankly just rude! If you want people to hear you, make sure they can hear you! Sorry.. must have needed to get that out! 🤣
Liz and you have just taught me what the word "ameliorate" means. I won't ever use it though, as I have no idea how you should pronounce that word....? That many vowels always make me nervous.
I'm an audiologist, so this is as close as real life comes to my specialist subject! Really, the rule should be that the person repeating should rephrase the sentence, rather than saying exactly the same thing again. There's probably one word in the sentence you miss because it has soft consonants or something, so changing the words used gives the listener a better chance. I'd also recommend musicians earplugs in really noisy places. Save your hearing and make hearing other people talking easier to distinguish in my experience. Sorry that's not a funny comment!
I've heard some pretty terrible stories of people smiling and nodding at inappropriate things. One person was smiling while someone was talking about their husband dying. People agreeing to things in medical appointments when they haven't heard the question is common too.
I love the idea that people should rephrase if not heard the first time. This should be a law. I’ll contact the government.
And I need to look into musician’s earplugs.
Thank you.
Try being a non-native speaker; people automatically assume you’re either deaf or, more likely, stupid. They go on to repeat in exactly the same muttered way(sometimes louder), and naturally you still can’t hear the beginning of the sentence, so the third time they just repeat the last few words (yes, the ones you did manage to catch first time) ve-ry slow-ly and LOUD-LY; it will never occur to them that it takes two to communicate
My sympathies!
Owning a retail shop, I have to admit my anxiety about this has been blunted somewhat since it does happen with some degree of regularity. After the second attempt, I usually say, I’m so sorry and I know you’re going to hate me, but I really do want to understand what you’re saying.” This works more times than not as they then try something new haha.
I LOVE this. It's so polite. I'm going to learn it! Thank you.
I definitely stop asking after the second time, and generally guess the appropriate non-verbal response and try and move the conversation on, this seems to mostly work for me. When I’m the person who can’t be heard I generally shout when I repeat myself which my partner says is rude, but it’s because I’m genuinely trying to help because they obviously can’t hear my normal (admittedly quite quiet) voice!
Shouting is definitely helpful! As long as no ear drums are burst.
Oh my god, I LOVE this (and all your writing actually). I HAD to comment on this one... it drives me NUTS when people mumble and/or speak so softly only their hair can hear what they've said.. why?! 😄 I do all the stuff that the etiquette lady says to do - who knew I was an etiquette expert.. not sure how that happened! 😄 BUT, why should I apologise when in fact they are the ones who are being inaudible... AND when you say "Sorry" "Pardon" etc.. for the second and sometimes third time (eeeek!).. they make absolutely no effort to change their tone, volume or bother to annunciate properly.. it's quite frankly just rude! If you want people to hear you, make sure they can hear you! Sorry.. must have needed to get that out! 🤣
Ha! I enjoyed your rage!
Sorry.. I meant "if you want people to listen to you".. got flustered in my fit of rage! 🤣
Liz and you have just taught me what the word "ameliorate" means. I won't ever use it though, as I have no idea how you should pronounce that word....? That many vowels always make me nervous.
I had to say it in the audio version and just made a wild guess 😂 Who knows how close I was. (I had to Google it too.)